Let’s talk about it! First of all, I want to validate your feelings and tell you that what your feeling is totally NORMAL. You are tired, sore, overwhelmed and feeling like all the responsibility is on you; especially if you are breastfeeding! You look over at your husband with his useless nipples and are annoyed; it’s okay! If that’s the case, how can you adjust your mindset and find ways to not hate your husband? 

Get Him Involved With Feedings

If you are breastfeeding, have dad be on diaper duty. When it’s time to nurse, you’ll get comfy/go to the bathroom/grab a quick snack, while dad changes the baby and brings him/her to you. Once you’ve established a healthy breastfeeding relationship with your baby, start pumping and allow dad to bottle feed. This is great to do at night that way you can get a little more rest before the overnight feedings begin! 

Ask for Help

Your husband is not a mindreader; don’t just assume that he knows what you need in the moment. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, but you know the laundry needs done, ask. Split household chores between the two of you that way the responsibility doesn’t feel solely on your shoulders. Make it known when you need a nap or a moment to shower on your own. The biggest key here is to keep communication open between the two of you and allow your husband to help. 

Let Go of Expectations

There is no “right way” to raise a baby. Your husband will likely change a diaper or dress the baby a little differently than you do! The end result is the same; baby is changed and dressed. Accept that you both love your child and want to keep him/her safe. The nuances of how you each do things doesn’t matter. Accepting this early on will create a lot less stress and frustration between the two of you. 

Connect

In those early newborn days and while you’re still recovering, you may not be ready to have sex yet. With that being said, it’s important to find ways that you can still connect with one another. Cuddle on the couch while baby naps or a quick hug in the kitchen; a simple touch goes a long way! It’s important to validate one another’s feelings and make sure you’re both being seen and heard. 

Having a new baby is a HUGE responsibility and can definitely put strain on a marriage. It’s okay to have all the emotions and frustrations at first, but just remember to keep your husband in the loop. Give him the opportunity to help and keep the line of communication open!